User:Klumthefark

From Voice of the Proletariat

[edit] Klumthefark

Born to flaming Hippies in Beverly Hills, Klum grew up hugging trees and sawing capitalists. She managed to receive a formal education because her dad, unfashionably, held on to a jerb longer than that penguin held on Al Gore before Al Gore fed it to the polar bears -thus completing the circle of life. Klum is known for her comments whereby in each and every bloody thread she simply cannot resist the urge to state how misinterpretation of religious scripture is hurting America BECAUSE JESUS SAID HE WOULD STAY 3 DAYS AND 3 NOIGHTS AND HE WAS MISSING IN THE TOMB AFTER 2 DAYS AND 1 NIGHT SO SIGNS OF JONAS FAILED THUS NO RESURRECTION AND HE DID NOT DIE ON THE CROSS, AMIRITE?

Klum is thought to be a high priestess of the ACLU, an organization founded on licentious revelry that came into existence around the period when Stalin met Boy George. She is thought to be inspiration behind the songs "rape me" by Nirvana, and "beautiful ones" by Suede. Some people argue that in looks she resembles Elizabeth Hurley with a touch of Milla Jovovich.

[edit] Separated at Birth : Klum and Vanessa

Klum: Mr. bNer, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
bNer: What's your point, Klum?