User:Reed solomon
From Voice of the Proletariat
Reed Solomons Blog Reed Solomon's useless TOS page Reed Solomon can be contacted by email at reedsolomon dot matr1x at googles mail domain name, or alternatively, through telepathy or seance
Photo of Reed Solomon's right eye
Reed Solomon lives in Winnipeg, a horrible city located in the socialists' paradise province of Canada known as Manitoba. In Winnipeg, mosquitoes defy the Square-Cube law, are over 4 feet in size, and can be trained to give rides with an offering of blood, thus making Winnipeg one of the few energy self-sufficient cities in the world (also there is a lot of hydro-electricity, farming, wind power, and some oil, too); but enough about the current place Reed Solomon has decided to live.
Reed Solomon was born in 1977, to Croatian immigrants to Canada, a man and a woman. Reed Solomon was shown to have remarkable intelligence - beyond that of the normal, mortal Canadian. Every school which Reed Solomon attended in his youth has since been demolished, in recognition of the fact that all there is to know, and ever will be known, is known by Reed Solomon, and to allow others to even attempt to break his records of astounding mediocrity would be an insult to everything that is Reed Solomon. Reed Solomon's elementary school was inexplicably segregated along Jewish/Non Jewish lines.
Reed Solomon takes on many forms and has worked a variety of jobs. Reed Solomon has worked in fast food, video stores, banks, newspapers, and has even had jobs involving the care of pets and children. Reed Solomon enjoys the flesh of Cattle, especially in Steak form, or ground into beef and served with spaghetti, Lasagna, or hamburgers.
Reed Solomon wills the universe to exist; your existence is merely at his own unconscious whims. If Reed Solomon should ever die, it is believed it will be due to boredom, and a new universe will be created to amuse him, possibly one with light sabres and the ability to fly.
The deity known as God, is not Reed Solomon, but a creature created at the same time as Reed Solomon that is even more of a dick than he, but has yet to utterly defeat Reed Solomon.
Reed Solomon likes all music, except the blues, and new country, cause they suck. Reed Solomon likes show tunes, but is not gay.
Reed Solomon is not a real name, but a pseudonym, [1], all the more clever because Reed Solomon is a type of code. Like the DaVinci code or something.
Ladies, don't forget! :
This biography was written by --Reed Solomon 11:49, 3 July 2007 (PDT)
